F & B Conquer the ALCAN – March 11

Dear fellow followers of The Adventure,

Now despite that, as anticipated, travel wasn’t the issue today (other than keeping it under 110 Km/Hr–that’s 65 to you) our Adventurers did enjoy some interesting moments.  For instance the plethora of fast food outlets–as opposed to “there’s a place to eat! Stop!–changed them so much that they couldn’t decide and ate food from the cooler they left with.  Now let’s hope it had been properly refrigerated along the whole way along and they don’t have “one of those” nights…  Many a bovine critter was spotted along the road as well as horses.  The roads they were straight and mostly four lane.  So what’s to complain about?  There were even adequate bathroom facilities!

Arriving at the “Truly, Really, Really, Big City” of Edmonton (three quarters of a million souls living so far north that you have to ask about the sanity of our dear Canadian friends).  They did something completely out of character for either of them–they went to the mall!  Now, not just any mall it turns out so maybe we can write it off to exploration of a new landscape or some such, but the fabled “West Edmonton Mall“, the largest in North America–Oh, Wow!.  There they feasted on gourmet burgers (one questions this choice with so many options) and decided to take in an Imax movie, conveniently just right there.  Well while milling around trying to decide among the myriad of offerings, and deferring to a friendly Canadian who gushed about how friendly they were and how they must be Canadians (herself having just returned from down in America).  She was, as you no doubt anticipate, mortified to learn that not only was one of these cretins from Alaska but–Oh My God–the other was from, imagine her astonishment, Seattle!  Fortunately, even in Canadia there are AEDs everywhere and she was revived and in true Canadian grace declared them both to be “Honorary Canadians”.  The movie was anti-climactic, although amusing with singing fish and a thinly disguised political message.  Whoever owns the Dr. Seusse trademark has sold his soul to Lucifer.

Now, as hedonistic as this all seems our Adventurers have hatched a plan to up the ante.  They are going to Banff!  Yes and they are scheming about massages–claiming that seven days on the roads “entitles” them to a massage!  (perhaps in Canadia it actually does, good socialists they be).

We will no doubt revel in their experience tomorrow and wish we were there too.  Until then…

Catch the continuing saga of F and B Conquer the ALCAN beginning at 8 Pacific time tomorrow.

Your faithful scribe,